[UFO Chicago] The Shakespeare Programming Language

Jay F Shachter jay at m5.chicago.il.us
Wed Jul 6 10:24:41 PDT 2011

Since not every reader of this mailing list is a member of the ACM,
some of you may not have seen today's announcement of the Shakespeare
Programming Language (SPL), a language giving rise to programs that
resemble Shakespeare's plays.  There is currently no SPL compiler, but
there is a translator that translates SPL programs into C.

Everything that follows this paragraph (until my signature at the end)
will be the complete contents of an SPL program that prints prime

Prime Number Computation in Copenhagen.

Romeo, a young man of Verona.
Juliet, a young woman.
Hamlet, a temporary variable from Denmark.
The Ghost, a limiting factor (and by a remarkable coincidence also
        Hamlet's father).

                    Act I: Interview with the other side.

                    Scene I: At the last hour before dawn.

[Enter the Ghost and Juliet]

The Ghost:
 You pretty little warm thing! Thou art as prompt as the difference
 between the square of thyself and your golden hair. Speak your mind.

 Listen to your heart!

[Exit the Ghost]

[Enter Romeo]

 Thou art as sweet as a sunny summer's day!

                    Act II: Determining divisibility.

                    Scene I: A private conversation.

 Art thou more cunning than the Ghost?

 If so, let us proceed to scene V.

[Exit Romeo]

[Enter Hamlet]

 You are as villainous as the square root of Romeo!

 You are as lovely as a red rose.

                    Scene II: Questions and the consequences thereof.

 Am I better than you?

 If so, let us proceed to scene III.

 Is the remainder of the quotient between Romeo and me as good as

 If so, let us proceed to scene IV.
 Thou art as bold as the sum of thyself and a roman.

 Let us return to scene II.

                    Scene III: Romeo must die!

[Exit Hamlet]

[Enter Romeo]

 Open your heart.

[Exit Juliet]

[Enter Hamlet]

 Thou art as rotten as the difference between nothing and the sum of a
 snotty stinking half-witted hog and a small toad!
 Speak your mind!

[Exit Romeo]

[Enter Juliet]

                    Scene IV: One small dog at a time.

[Exit Hamlet]

[Enter Romeo]

 Thou art as handsome as the sum of thyself and my chihuahua!
 Let us return to scene I.

                    Scene V: Fin.


                Jay F. Shachter
                6424 N Whipple St
                Chicago IL  60645-4111
                        jay at m5.Chicago.il.us

		"The umbrella of the gardener's aunt is in the house"

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